One of the questions I am frequently asked concerns having a spiritual practice, and whether such a practice can help a person live a good life versus operating mostly from an unconscious state and living what appears to be a good life.  Diane Sawyer brought this subject up recently in an interview, on the Oprah Network, as one of the questions she contemplates and doesn’t fully understand. 

 

In exploring this question, I have discovered several avenues that are truths for me. I will construct my response in the terms of myths associated with this difficult observation.

 

Myth 1: Because I am compassionate and loving, I should be receiving the things I want out of life.

In looking at this myth, several thoughts jump out, especially regarding the person who is living a spiritual life. The first is that in this statement, there is much fear and an underlying emotion of “lacking something.” When a person is in a compassionate state of mind, however, there is nothing lacking in his/her life. He/she has everything that is needed, including self-love and a deep trust in the natural enfoldment of life. This myth is filled with conditions, and a condition brings a person back into a duality state of mind. Duality is filled with internal struggles and inner conflicts. An example of such a conflict is:  If I am good, then I will be rewarded with the things my ego tells me I need in order not to experience fear, a lack of something, and sadness. We are still in a defensive structure with the ego and have gone unconscious once more if we are in this state of mind.

 

Myth 2: The person who is living what appears to be a good life may have a mean spirit or seem narcissistic, so he/she will at some point experience real suffering.

People who are narcissistic may not experience suffering in their lifetime as a way of resolving their karma. They may not be on a path to get in touch with their experience, in this case narcissism, as a way of coming into wisdom. It may not be their path even to have some type of realization with their self-centeredness and the pain it may cause those around them. In this lifetime, it is not in their destiny to undertake enlightenment or to live a spiritual life.

 

I have seen this in the form of sociopaths who may even commit the ultimate sin of taking another’s life. The defenses of sociopaths are so strong that there is no emotion attached to their actions. They are able to put their acts behind them, they refuse to take responsibility, they do not feel remorse, and they are even able to adjust to their life if they are imprisoned. On the other hand, the victim’s family may suffer for years.

 

Each individual has a unique destiny to experience, and it is this destiny in relationship with life’s enfoldment that dictates our experiences. For those who are to grow and develop consciously, their life will contain challenges . . . each challenge intended to provide opportunities to develop the ego to the point of releasing fear and the attachment to an outer object or to one’s identity. These individuals can develop or open into compassion and unconditional love.  Individuals who are on this type of path will encounter a few major life-altering changes in different areas of their life, such as relationships, illness, or career, and maybe even all three. Other individuals on a spiritual path may face many smaller challenges, but each one has the task of finding compassion and resolution of the underlying fear. Our unconscious is vast, and for many, the journey can be difficult, but in the end, true joy and passion await.

 

Myth 3. The more I do spiritual work, the happier the life I can lead . . . so if I am not happy now, then I need to do more work on a spiritual level.

This myth occurs frequently. People believe that the more spiritual they are, the more entitled they are to live happy and carefree. While there is truth to this in the manner of a person approaching his spiritual life as a means to opening his/her heart, allowing vulnerability to exist, and engaging compassion, this intention is different than that of the person who believes spiritual work will bring about a means of controlling his/her way to happiness.

 

While it is true that the more we are able to let go of fear, the more we can experience free will and increase our ability to act and create in the moment. But this takes the ability to know our intentions . . . are they based out of fear, therefore leading our actions to be based on power and control? Or are our intentions pure? 

 

Such understanding of our intentions takes a great amount of spiritual development, non-judgment, and self-honesty, but this spiritual awareness can be achieved.