“I have come to believe that we are destined to be opened by the living of our days, and whether we like it or not, whether we choose to participate or not, we will, in time, every one of us, wear the deeper part of who we are as a new skin.”

– Mark Nepo

Growing up in a Western culture, we are bombarded with ideas of what constitutes a successful and happy life. We are told that every American can have the type of life they desire. When you begin consciousness practice, you will discover this is not exactly true. Your ego may desire to have wealth in monetary form and you will find that with wealth, joy and happiness continues to elude you. You continue to suffer. The mind seeking consciousness desires to find liberation from the attachment formed by having wealth that results from a drive away from fear. For example, an attachment could be that with wealth comes security. Having physical security out of the need for security arises out of fear or ego-defense against not having security. A consciousness seeker will desire to break the attachment to security.

Being present in the heart center with compassion for feeling unsafe without wealth begins the breaking down of the illusion that wealth will bring you happiness. You have found acceptance for feeling insecure.

In my practice with individuals, an area that comes up frequently for people not in a relationship is a strong desire to live with a partner and have a family. Their situation is that they are single. That is their current experience, their life. To be fearful of being single is not being with your life as it is. You have formed a judgement against yourself based on your life situation. You may find yourself depressed or angry of your situation. You are in a place of suffering, caught with belief systems that are probably not based in fact. To begin to unravel the beliefs and patterns that hold you in this place of suffering is to start by exploring the fear that underlies being single. It could be that being single you feel unworthy of love.

Using the tools of Integrative Consciousness, a person caught with their suffering sits in meditation with the mind focused in the heart center and initiates the energy of compassion toward feelings of unworthiness. Finding unconditional love for who you are breaks through the illusion that you are unworthy of love. This alone will transform your inner dynamics and therefore will invite and open your life to your true expression. Remember though, with true acceptance outer change is not required for you to be happy with your life. You can be present in your life as a single person without the need to change it. You life is as it should be, a perfect reflection you.